There I'll be
by LadyEkathle
Summary: What if The Order of the Phoenix has a new boss? What if Snape falls in love with her? What if she wants to help him with his spying task? My first fanf, so please read and review, I'm in need of you! Spoilers on HPDH
1. Something different

**Something different**

Severus Snape hated the meetings of the Order of the Phoenix with all his heart. The reunions took place once a week and they were always the same, chatting and comparing stupid ideas of how to try to protect Harry Potter from the Dark Lord's attacks. _They don't know him like I do_, Severus thought bitterly,_ it's a waste of time protecting the brat because all he does is put himself in the greatest danger possible just to find out how far his luck would go_.

Besides the meetings themselves, Sirius Black was present as well. To Severus, sitting at a table just in front of Black was hell worse than playing his role for the Dark Lord. Mrs. Weasley's constant interruptions with her homemade biscuits bothered him, though that was more because she still didn't hate him even though he promised himself he would fail all of her children. She was convinced that Severus was too slim, which he actually was, so she tried to make him eat Hagrid-sized helpings frequently. _My hate is well justified,_ he said to himself as he knocked on the door of that damn Grimmauld Place.

The atmosphere inside was as usual. As he entered the house, he was nearly hit by an enchanted football ball the twins were playing with. When they saw him, they immediately stopped their foul game and went into their bedrooms. At least Snape's 'If-You-Dare-I'll-Kill-You' look was effective. When he stepped into the dining room, which served as the meeting room, something strange caught his attention. All the chairs were arranged in rows instead of being around the table and most of the members were already seated and were wearing their best suites. Lupin looked like a different person in that green suit, and Moody had changed his worn cloak with a new one. Even Sirius Black had put away the clothes he usually wore at home and had bought a new jacket. They all stared at him and his usual black clothes, Sirius with contempt, and then turned away, as if they didn't know him. _Keeps getting better_, thought Snape, _at least they won't get me sick_, as he took a seat away from them, next to Tonks. He certainly did not like the metamorphagous, but he certainly liked her more than Lupin, Black, and Moody. For the occasion, Tonks had her hair changed to a beautiful pink shade that complimented her outfit.

"What's going on?" asked Severus, but suddenly everyone in the room sat down and he heard a loud, familiar voice shout "Hello everyone!" and a completely purple-dressed Albus Dumbledore entered the dining room. "Oh God, this is going to be a very long meeting" sighed Severus. He couldn't remember anything about Dumbledore coming at the last meeting, but probably he had just missed it. When at those reunions, he thought very frequently about his own business, especially about Dolores Umbridge, who was pestering the school with her stupid laws and was at butting heads with Dumbledore himself.

"I've come here because, as some of you certainly know, our dear Supreme Inquisitor Dolores Umbridge has decided that is better, for our students' safety, to suspend me from my position as Headmaster." This statement made the audience whisper, but they fell immediately silent when Dumbledore raised his hand and continued. "So, I think that the best solution is for me to leave for a while so that the Ministry will keep its nose out of our business. I'm here to introduce you the person who'll take the direction of the Order in my place. I'd like to introduce you to Anna Jopkins, an Auror and my friend!"


	2. Life is a fight

**Life is a fight**

"Hello! It's nice to meet you all. I'm Anna, and I hope we can work together." All members turned their heads in the direction of the voice. At the door stood a beautiful woman with short, curly blonde hair and a nice smile on her face. She wore a blue dress that brought out her perfect body and when she walked into the room it rustled charmingly against her long legs. She looked like a fairy, but by the expert way she was handling her wand, she should be a good witch. Severus couldn't stop staring at her. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Instinctively, he stood up and bowed a little at her direction, and when he rose, he noticed that almost every man in the room, except for Moody and Lupin, had done the same. Sirius in particular had put up his most charming smile for the new lady. The young lady noticed these attentions and smiled gently to them, as she walked towards her longtime friend. Albus said one last goodbye to everyone before exiting.

The dining room was full of whispers and different feelings; admiration from men, suspicion from women. Anna sat down in front of them and, when she spoke, her voice was still soft but with a note of strength that was clearly meant to inform them who was boss.

After a few words of presentation, Anna began to explain what she was going to do and underlined the things that, according to her, were in desperate need of changing. Moody, in particular didn't like it, because he usually held the direction of the operations.

"Dumbledore told me that you lack a bit in organization, so at the next meeting I'm going to assign everyone a precise task. You'll do only that, nothing else, ok?" This statement could have been a bit too rude, but the way she said it, with her soft voice and bubbling with sincere amiability, made all members not to care at the strictness of it, but only nod. At least, all the men did.

Then she dismissed the meeting. Normally, all members would have left then, except for those who stay for dinner, and Severus was not one of them. This time nobody wanted to leave. Severus sprang up from his chair and hurried to go introducing himself to the new member. Sirius Black seemed to have had the same idea as they bumped into each other while hastily trying to get to the Kitchen, where Anna was currently talking to Mrs. Weasley. They began to glance at each other evilly, waiting for the other to change idea and let him pass, but they soon realized that neither was going to leave it.

"What do you want Snivellus?" said Sirius. "Do you really think she would be _pleased_ to meet you? Out of the way, let me pass!" He ran a hand through his hair, a sign of nervousness.

"Sure, I really think you should go first. I can meet her _outside_, while _working bravely. _So go on, I'll have _many more _occasions to meet her," he answered mockingly, not moving from the door.

"Oh yes, in very nice Death Eater outfit. It fits you very well."

"Don't you know that women like spies? They have a certain something…" Severus was sneering now, and Sirius fled into a rage "I can go outside too, you'll see, I'll show her how a real hero act!"

"Oh yes, surely, if she's a fan of the TV show Lassie…"

"How do you dare…" Both Sirius and Snape reached their wands, ready to fight.

"Excuse me," came a soft voice. They both turned to see Anna staring at them, with Mrs Weasley who was looking at them with an air of disapproval. "I'm introducing myself to everyone. What are your names?" she said holding out her little hand.

They stood still for a second, before shaking her hand, both trying to push the other away. Anna watched them confusedly. _What were they doing?_ She wasn't even sure she had understood their names correctly. Then her gaze fell on the wands they were still holding.

"You two weren't you fighting, were you?" she asked.

"Absolutely not, Miss, why should we?" they answered together. "We were only…ahem…comparing our wands because, you see, his doesn't work very well so I thought I could help my _friend,_" added Sirius giving her another of his charming grins. She glanced at him suspiciously, but then smiled and said, "Very good, I've noticed that in this house there is an alarming abuse of magical power," and then turned to greet Kingsley.

Sirius and Severus glanced at each other evilly. This was going to be a long, long battle.


	3. Realizations

**Realizations**

Severus was at home, lying on the couch. He was thinking about the meeting and his new boss. Something about her had caught his interest and it was not her beauty. Of course, she _was _beautiful, but Severus wasn't the kind of man who fell in love only for such aesthetic reasons. He was sure he didn't love her, because he didn't even know her. _But what made me argue with Black over her? _ He was ashamed of his behavior. His clock chimed, reminding him of the next meeting. He stood up and prepared himself to go. While exiting, unintentionally he glanced at himself in the mirror and combed his hair. Then he realized what he just did. _What am I doing?_ he thought, shaking his head and left.

During the next weeks, meetings became more frequent, because Anna was assigning tasks and wanted to be brought up to date on every result achieved. The _Order really needs a strong guide,_ she thought, _everyone here seems to do whatever he likes_. Although they had opposed her projects at first time, she had managed to gain their respect and she was even becoming friends with some of them. For example, that young girl, Nymphadora Tonks, was lovely, and the two girls spent most of their evenings together talking. Fortunately, they no longer saw her as only their boss, but also as a person and a colleague who they could trust. She knew that in the first week she had been a bit rude, but, as she explained Tonks, she was used to being underestimated because she was a woman.

She now stayed for meals, too. Mrs. Weasley was a fantastic cook, and his sons were funny; they didn't come often because of the school, but now it was Christmas holiday and they had just arrived, bringing Harry Potter and their friend, Hermione Granger.

Severus was also expected to arrive. Having no classes to teach, he was fully immersed in his spying task, and he was supposed to report his news.

"Does Severus ever stay for lunch?" asked Anna one evening, while they were eating a wonderful dessert. She didn't know why, but she felt herself rather attracted from him. He wasn't handsome, and surely not kind, but she was glad when he was at Grimmauld Place.

"Fortunately not! Can you imagine, having Snivellus here at lunch? I could vomit!" said Sirius. Anna and Sirius had become friends in a certain way, but she couldn't stand the way he spoke of Severus. She hadn't seen Severus much and so she hadn't really been able to get to know him. He was a man of very few words, and not even kind. He hated Sirius, and the fact that she spoke to him seemed to make Severus hate her as well. But despite all this, she wanted him to come to Grimmauld Place.


	4. Strange fellow

**Strange fellow**

Severus was hurrying to Grimmauld Place. He was late, but he had things to do and he couldn't exactly fly. While walking, he found himself thinking about the meeting. He knew what it would be about as he already had a mission. Actually, he didn't know why he was going. He was disgusted at the thought of seeing Black's ugly face. He and Anna had become friends, Severus knew, and Black certainly would be dangling it in front of his face. Truly, he had found himself thinking of her during the year, but he had just waved away the thoughts. He didn't know her, and she was friend of Sirius Black, which clearly meant that she was just as awful as Black. He knocked on the door, told the password, and entered the house.

They were all seated around the dining table, chatting and playing chess. When he appeared, Anna's eyes lit up with joy and she sprang up, shaking his hand and smiling. He just stared at her. Surely she wasn't serious if she was friends with Black, but she seemed sincere. She said that she was happy to see him, asking why he hadn't come there earlier, since she expected his update, and offered him a seat and a cup of tea. Severus sat down rather confused. He felt his heart beating faster when she approached to give him his cup of tea and his hands were trembling a little. _It's just because I was rushing_, Severus thought.

"How's it going this year?" she asked. She was now seated next to him on the couch, with Sirius was watching them strangely. "I heard you guys are having a lot of trouble with Umbridge."

"Yes we are," was his short reply. _God, he's so nasty_, thought Anna, but didn't leave it. "And what's your personal opinion on that? I mean, you don't agree with the Ministry, do you?"

"No, not at all. They have made a mistake firing Dumbledore. They've just made the situation worse." Silence fell between them again.

At the same time, Fred and George were playing Quidditch in the kitchen. Fred hit the ball too strongly and it landed on a vase, making him crash. Moody, who was walking into the kitchen, stumbled on it and fell to the ground. He clung to Mrs. Black's curtains trying not to fall and he uncovered the portrait, which began to yell. Anna burst into laughter at the very comical scene, but the man next to her didn't. Anna wondered if he ever smiled.

During the reunion, tasks were re-assigned. With his disappointment, and Severus's joy, Black was forced again not to move from the house, although he had praised Anna, hoping she would give him something useful to do. When it came to his turn, Severus informed the group that he had already been assigned to attend a Death Eater's meeting that evening. He didn't reply to Sirius' whispers behind his back.

"Oh yes, Dumbledore told me about this. Its going be a very big meeting, isn't it?"

"Yes," nodded Severus.

"And there will be Death Eaters from all over the world?" insisted Anna.

"Yes." _She's really getting on my nerves_, thought Severus.

"Ok, so there won't be any problem on doing what Dumbledore asked me to do."

Severus looked confused. "Pardon?"

"He asked for someone to come with you, to be sure of hear all the news. You're only one, and you can't be listening to different groups of Death Eaters at the same time."

Severus looked at her, puzzled. What the hell was she saying? He didn't want anyone with him! It was difficult enough to maintain his covering without having to babysit someone else!

"I've already done it myself, I'll be perfectly fine thanks." he spat. Anna ignored him and went on.

"I think it'd be better if I come with you. I'm an Auror, I know how to behave with Death Eaters."

"No."

"It's useless to argue about this. I'm your boss and this is final."

Severus growled and stormed out.


	5. Not nice to meet you, thanks

**Not nice to meet you, thanks**

At the end of the meeting, Anna looked for Severus. It was six p.m. and the meeting was supposed to begin at eight. She found him in a bedroom, preparing himself. She stepped in and closed the door behind her.

"What?" was Severus's nasty question.

"Well you should help me to look like a Death Eater," she said in a soft voice that made Severus shiver with pleasure. He immediately regained his evil glare. "You aren't coming with me."

"Come on! It was Dumbledore who asked for this!" she smiled at him. He felt that as though it was useless to resist.

"Then dress yourself. Weren't you an expert?" he sneered.

"Why are you always so peevish? Really, I think I never heard a kind word from you. Why?"

He turned and began to rummage in his trunk searching for his other black cloak and mask. He really didn't want to answer her question because he didn't know why he was behaving so badly towards her. She had always been so kind. He felt his heart beat faster, matched with a shiver down his spine.

"Here you are." He found the cloak and the mask and gave them to her. "Take care to be fully covered." He helped her to put on the mask. "You need to have the Dark Mark," he said quietly, and took a quill to her skin, drawing the outline and charming it to look permanent. "I think the Dark Lord won't attend this meeting, but don't show it. Many of the Death Eaters wouldn't notice the difference but someone could be suspicious, especially those who don't like me or the position I have."

They were exiting the house when Sirius appeared in the hallway. He looked at Anna, dressed as a Death Eater, and said "I really don't think you should go. I don't trust him"

"Well, I do. And Dumbledore asked me to go with him. I don't want to disobey his orders. I'll be perfectly safe."

Sirius went next to Severus, and whispered angrily "If you dare to hurt her…"

Severus did nothing but stare at him like he was fool, then took her hand and led her out into the darkness.

Severus and Anna walked in silence for a while, both hidden behind their masks. Suddenly, he stopped and broke the silence.

"You don't trust me."

"What?"

"You're coming with me only because you do not trust me. I'm not sure who it was that put that thought into your mind, but it is not a good plan. If I were truly a Death Eater, I would kill you right now, and you'd be alone with no one to hear you." He took a step closer. "But I'm not, and you are lucky, so please go away."

She looked confused and a bit annoyed by his rudeness. "I do trust you, why shouldn't I? I've not come here to spy on you!" She felt herself filling with anger "And if you really want to know why I'm here, well, it's because I don't want you to get hurt anymore! Dumbledore told me everything about you being injured and coming home alone without telling anyone! But if the fact that someone cares about you disturbs you, fine, I'm going home!" She turned away furiously and began to Disapparate, but Severus was faster and caught her cloak, pulling her to the ground. For a momen,t he seemed to struggle against something inside him. "Sorry," he said, holding out his hand and helping her stand up. "I had no idea," he added, looking a bit embarrassed. He felt his face blush, but he tried to chase it away. That was how he had learned occlumency so well, so as not to be annoyed by stupid feelings.

Anna looked into Severus's eyes and saw that he was telling the truth. He had never thought that someone could be so interested in his safety. This caused Anna's fury to calm down immediately. "Come on," she said "We'll be late."

The meeting took place at Malfoy Manor. They Apparated just outside the heavy wrought-iron gates, and Severus pulled up his sleeve, pointing the Dark Mark on his forearm towards the house. Immediately, the gates sprang open and they entered the grand garden, now in complete darkness. It was shaped as a labyrinth, but Severus seemed to know the right way, and Anna let her gaze wander between fountains, trees, and classic statues.

Then the lane turned left and suddenly, the house appeared. The villa was so magnificent and enormous that took Anna's breath away. The main façade was decorated with bas reliefs, now illuminated by the moonlight that made them visible even in the darkness. When they approached, Anna saw that they represented scenes from the Greek mythology. The big windows were bordered by merlons of stone, and were made of colored glass.

"This is why the young Draco is such a snob," she said to herself, thinking of the Malfoys' son, who she had met once in Diagon Alley while accompanying Ginny and Hermione to have an ice cream. She remembered the way he had looked at them, with scorn, and how he had said, in a half-voice, something to Hermione. She hadn't heard and Hermione hadn't wanted to tell her, but she knew it had been something offensive. She would have liked to say something, but he was with his mother and she didn't want to quarrel in the middle of Diagon Alley with everyone watching them, so they had pretended not to have heard. Now she understood Draco's behavior. "This is not a good place to educate a young boy, especially Draco."

Severus's touched her shoulder, bringing Anna back to reality. He had turned her so they were facing each other.

"Now be careful. You'll have to do everything I'll tell you. Don't do anything on your own initiative. Got it?"

"Yes," she replied. Despite his rude tone, she could see a glimpse of concern in his black eyes. At least, it seemed as though that glimpse was there.

When they entered the main hall, there were many other Death Eaters standing there and chatting. Many chairs formed a large ring in the room, with the furniture being moved to the corners of the large room, showing off the marble floors.

"Stay here and do not attract the attention. If they speak to you, well, you already know your story," whispered Severus, and then he went to greet the others.

Of course, Anna knew the story she had to tell. Her name was Kelly, and she was Severus's cousin visiting from Scotland. She helped her cousin with his missions and she hoped she could become a Death Eater as well. Severus had also recommended that Anna not to take off her hood or mask, and so they had invented a reason that poor Kelly had a terrible skin disease of which she was very ashamed. "Many of them are so stupid that they won't doubt if you are trustworthy or not. Only, keep clear from a brunette witch named Bellatrix Lestrange. She's clever enough to doubt, and she doesn't trust me, so she'll do everything she can to put me in a bad light with the Dark Lord."

She remembered clearly Severus's warnings, and didn't want to disappoint him or cause him trouble. She stared at him, as he passed through the crowd, greeting those criminals like old friends. She admired his courage, his composure, and his cheek. He was deliberately lying to all those people, pretending to be their friend! She shivered at the thought of playing with such people. It was like tickling a sleeping dragon.

Lost in thought, she didn't notice the very witch Severus warned her of approaching her. She had curly, brunette hair, black eyes and something mad in her appearance. She sat next to Anna, wand in hand, and asked, "So you are Snape's cousin, aren't you? Bellatrix Lestrange." She held out her white hand, but there was no kindness in her behavior, but suspicion and a bit of sarcasm too.

Anna nodded and introduced herself as Kelly. Bellatrix stared at her, and Anna felt Bellatrix's mind trying to read hers. Luckily, she was good at Occlumency!

Bellatrix broke the gaze, disappointed. "So you are loyal to our Dark Lord." At his name, her eyes twinkled. "What have you done for him?" The tone should have been normal, but Anna felt that question as an accusation. So she told Bellatrix her story, that she was a spy too, and all the things she and Severus had previously decided. While speaking, she looked at Bellatrix. She was listening attentively and toying with her wand. _She doesn't trust me,_ Anna told herself. The conversation was becoming difficult, as Bellatrix was clearly studying her. Fortunately, Severus came to her aid.

"Hello Bella, my dear, how're you?" he sneered. Bellatrix just looked at him with scorn. "Snape," she greeted.

"I've heard of your husband being arrested again. What a pity! He should have thought that trying to kill Kingsley, one of the well-trained Aurors, wouldn't have been so easy, but obviously the plan was perfect. Entering the Ministry alone, and fight against a team of Aurors… I wonder why I hadn't thought of it…" Severus's voice was soft as velvet, the sarcasm oozing over them in only the way he could produce.

"Stop it!" yelled Bellatrix. She glared furiously at the pair and took off. Anna looked at Severus. "Thank you," she whispered, and touched his hand. He felt himself shivering, so he stood up and went to talk to others. Anna sat down again. Fortunately, Bellatrix was gone by now.

The meeting went very well. It was three a.m. when they finally returned home. They walked with pleasant conversation, for now that Severus had broken the ice, he was a bit less reserved. Anna was quite pleased since he had even smiled a bit. He insisted on seeing her home, and when they reached Grimmauld Place, they stayed another 30 minutes outside the door, talking. They had put down the masks and the black cloaks.

"Thank you very much for, how did you say… _babysitting _me," Anna smiled softly. "A very interesting experience."

"Will this be a regular occurance?" he asked.

_Come on, why do you have to be so formal_, thought Anna. "Sure, if you want," she said before hugging him. Severus shivered at the contact, but hugged her tightly, inhaling her delicate perfume before they parted.

"Goodnight Anna. See you tomorrow."

"Goodnight Sev." He saw her smile, and then she was gone.


	6. Of friends and lovers

**Of friends and lovers**

Anna slowly opened the main door, trying not to make noise, because the whole house was most likely asleep. She took a few steps into the dark corridor and saw a light behind the half-closed door of the kitchen. The clock hung on the wall said four a.m. They were all supposed to be in bed. Suddenly, the door opened and revealed Sirius Black, concern on his tired face.

"Anna! Where were you? Don't you know what time it is? We were worried!" He shook her, pushing her against the wall, filled with anger. He gripped her shoulder so strongly that Anna groaned in pain. Then, he sighed and released Anna, taking a step backwards. She tried to reply, but was once again cut off.

"I know you were _enjoying yourself,_" he sneered, "but you could have let us know you were safe! I hope you enjoyed Snape's cheerful company. Judging by the time you came home, I can assume you did!" He was practically yelling, and she could tell he wanted to shake her again.

Anna put a hand on his arm and looked into his eyes. She saw real concern for her, and felt guilty, but she allowed the guilt to roll off her since she hadn't done anything on purpose. Besides, she hadn't been in any real danger, so she wasn't really sure why Sirius was being so rude. Now he was so angry that she couldn't do anything but admit that she had made a mistake. That wasn't exactly the right moment to tell Sirius that she hadn't been in danger and that she had enjoyed being with Severus. While she was reassuring Sirius, her mind wondered about this last thought. Severus had been exactly the same: rude, sneering, and snappish. Anna was sure that he didn't enjoy her company. Indeed, he didn't seem to like many things, except for his sarcasm and his wit. But a voice inside Anna's heart told her that there was something that was different this time. First of all, he had returned her hug that evening; a fact that Anna had believed impossible just few days before. And he had really looked after her during the meeting.

"Anna? Are you listening to me?" Sirius' voice made Anna coma back to reality.

"Oh, yes, I am…" she muttered.

"And what was I saying?"

"Hem…. Well…"

"I was telling you, for your sake, that you mustn't go again with Snape to these meetings! Even if you are my boss, it's my duty to protect you from…"

"From?" she prompted.

"From that man, Anna! He's a spy, and not on our side, I know. He's just playing a role, and he's involving you. I consider you a friend, even if we don't know each other all that well, but I'm not going let him hurt you! He's such a mean, disgusting git! He's a fucking…"

Later, in her room, Anna tried to explain to herself what had made her yell at Sirius and pull him aside so strongly that he had lost his balance and fell to the floor before she storming away, not thinking about what she had done. Strangely, nobody had woken up, for the house was still silent. Anna pulled off her cloak and black dress she had worn all evening and dressed in a blue nightgown with silver stars. While combing her hair, Sirius knocked at the door.

"What's up?" she said coolly. Her shoulder was still hurting.

Sirius came in, still dressed, and approached.

"Do you know that, as your boss, I could punish you for insubordination?" said the girl. "I'm not going to do this only because it'll cause a lot of fuss, and by the present situation we really do not need any other troubles. I know you did it out of consideration for me," she added, when saw Sirius' mouth opened, "but I'm not three years old and I can look after myself. Severus can't do me any harm. Besides, why should he?"

"First of all, I'm sorry for hurting you. I was worried, because you didn't come home." He looked hopefully at her, and she smiled. "About Snape…"

"I didn't feel any danger with him tonight. ON the contrary, I quite like him."

"What?" Sirius asked, clearly astonished.

"No! Not in that sense! I mean, I think he's a good person, despite his inclination for sarcasm," Anna felt herself blush at Sirius' remark. She smiled a little, glad that Sirius could not read her thoughts, for she knew that she had meant it exactly the way Sirius thought she did.

This knowledge came to her suddenly, like lightning. She didn't know why, but here it was. She was attracted by him, by the aura of mystery surrounding him, and even because he had a very hard personality that provided a challenge for her to overcome.

"Only for sarcasm? He's a spy, he has a double life, and I'm sure he's betraying us! But, you know, it's impossible to talk to Dumbledore about this. He wears blinders when it comes to Snape."

"I think you have too many prejudices, Sirius. Honestly, you can't think he's a traitor only because you hate each other from school! You should try to get to know him better. It'll be difficult at first, but…"

"But I have no intention of trying! I'm right about him, I have known him for more than twenty years and, believe me, people like him never change."

"Oh, you are so closed-minded!" burst out Anna.

"Please, don't go with him again," Sirius pleaded.

"Cut it out, Black. Dumbledore asked me to do this, when there are particular occasions such as this one, and I'm not disobeying him, so calm down."

"I'll speak to Dumbledore!"

"Do it and I'll beat you up. That's a promise." Anna was beginning to lose her patience.

"I'm doing it for you!"

"I don't want your help, thank you!" she shouted back.

"I really can't think of you with him!"

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I love you," he admitted.

Anna was speechless, something that had never happened. She closed her eyes and sighed. She didn't want to look at him, because she knew she would burst into tears. Sirius was her friend, and she didn't want to hurt him, but she didn't love him and couldn't do anything but his feelings.

Fortunately, he seemed to understand.

"Sorry. Forgive me. I have no right to tell you what to do. Forget it," he said sadly, and turned away, closing the door behind him.


	7. Unexpected help

Sorry I know it took very long to update but I was having a writers block… =) and I've replaced th previous chapters in a good English as well, so take a look

**A big big big thank you to .Trust who revised the chapters, from now she is my official abssistant! =) **I really don't know what I'd have done without your help!

**Unexpected help**

_She was running downstairs. The noise was becoming louder and louder__. They were sounds of a fight. She had no candle, no light, but she didn't stop running as if she were being hunted. The noise came from Sirius' bedroom. As she was approaching, she saw a light from Sirius' doorway. A terrible scene appeared. Severus was slumped on the floor of the room, covered in blood, and before him stood Sirius, madness in his eyes. He jumped in front of her and tried to hug her, and Anna saw his hands covered in blood. _

"_If you want to save him, you'll have to kill me__," he told her. She looked at him, her supposed friend, and then at Severus, who was still moaning on the floor. She tried to push Sirius away, but suddenly there were two of him, then four. They all said "Kill me or I'll kill him."_

_She took her wand but __couldn't manage to cast the spell, because her hand was trembling. She took a deep breath and pointed her wand at one of the Sirius figures who were now filling the corridor and said "Avada Kedavra." _

_All the Sir__ius figures vanished like smoke, but when she finally approached Severus, his face turned into Sirus's and he said, "I really didn't think you could have done it." He began to cry and then vanished, leaving nothing more than a puddle of tears._

Strong arms shook Anna awake. As she opened her eyes, she saw Molly Weasley bent over her bed. The sun was shining in the sky and illuminated the messy room. The dark cloak she had worn the previous night was still on the chair.

When Molly realized the woman was awake, she said, "Sorry to wake you up, but Dumbledore is waiting for you. He's in the kitchen and he's in a hurry. He can't stay long. He's still a sort of…wanted. Come on, here you are," and threw her the first thing that came to hand, a smart red dress that just happened to be Sirius' favourite. At the thought, Anna remembered of the dream she had had and shivered. She was definitively not ready to face Sirius after his confession. _Maybe I'll get lucky,_ she thought hopefully. _Maybe he's gone outside or to the super market or something._ Her words sounded stupid even to herself.

"What time is it?" she asked Molly.

"Nine o'clock, dear," she answer. _Damn, he's definitely not still sleeping_. She tried anyway.

"Is Sirius still sleeping?"

"No, he's downstairs cleaning the house like you said. Really, I don't know how he can have so much energy even with only a few hours of sleep. He waited for you all night. It was midnight and he still hadn't gone to bed. Wasn't that kind of him?" asked Molly sweetly.

"Oh…um…yes, he's such a nice guy. I really like him," answered Anna, without thinking. Then realized she had made the same mistake as last time. "I mean, not in that sense! I-I like him as a friend, nothing else…" But Molly wasn't listening. She was just lost in the thought of Anna and Sirius together. Anna swore quietly to herself.

When she was ready, Anna closed the door and went downstairs trying to make as little noise as possible. She didn't want to face Sirus, especially with Molly thinking Anna wanted to _marry _him. Without being noticed, casting a Muffliato charm on the stairs, she managed to reach the kitchen and not be seen by Sirus, who was cleaning a room further down the hall.

Dumbledore was sitting at the kitchen table, chewing a candy Fred had given him, making his nose bigger and beak-like. Dumbledore laughed and made his nose return normal with a wave of his hand.

When he saw Anna, he stood up and greeted her. He looked pretty good for a wanted person. He wore his best-looking purple robes with silver stars, his beard was combed, and he was smiling. He definitely seemed to be having a great time. They shook hands.

"Sir, how are you? You look good. Where've you been?"

"Here and there, you know, with some friends. The Ministry keeps watching my house, in case I'm foolish enough to hide in my own house. I'm taking it as a holiday. How're you? Did you go to the Death Eater meeting as I told you?"

"Yes sir, it went very well. Here's my report. I've re-assigned new tasks to each member, and I dare say they're all doing an excellent work. We're recruiting people from all over the world."

"Good job Anna. I'm here now because I need you to deliver a message to Hagrid and to Minerva McGonagall, I'm sure you remember your old Transfiguration teacher. It wouldn't be a good idea for me to go to Hogwarts with Umbridge poking her nose everywhere."

"Why not ask Sever-Professor Snape?"

"All fireplaces are watched by the Ministry. It would be a risk. Umbridge doesn't know you are a member of the Order, and if she asks you something I know you'll be able to invent a good story." He smiled as if he were speaking to a particularly brilliant student.

"I want you to ask Hagrid to go to the North and look after the Giants. He's a half-giant; they'll listen to him, because they hate wizards. He must convince them not to join Voldemort in this war, but to come to our side. Give him this bag. In it he'll find some gifts to give to the Giants. Also tell him not to give up if they don't cooperate at first, because it's very important that he succeed. Ok?"

She nodded.

"Then go to Minerva. I've managed to speak with her a month ago, so you'll just have to tell her to try to limit Umbridge's power and secretly help Harry with the meetings of Dumbledore's Army." His voice was full of pride when speaking of Harry.

"Alright. When should I go?"

"The sooner the better. If you can, go today?"

"Of course, sir."

"I have to leave now. Take care!" He stood and left.

Anna went upstairs to get ready. Sirius was still cleaning the dining room and, as she passed, their eyes met. She stopped but he looked away, pretending to be absorbed in catching the Doxies jumping on the curtains. Seeing him reminded Anna of the dream. She felt sorry for him because she considered him her best friend. Maybe she had been too rude; he had insulted Severus, not her.

"Sirius…" she began, but Sirius didn'turn. She was sure he had heard, but he continued to shake the curtains. When he had finished, he exited the room without a word. Anna sighed and went to her room. She knew Sirius to well and she knew that when he was in this foul mood she had just to leave him alone for a while.

Anna apparated to Hogsmede and walked towards Hogwarts. It was a sunny day, and the light breeze ruffled her hair. In her hand, she was carrying the bag for Hagrid. She hadn't been able to resist and took a peek inside. Those giants had to be exacting: Dumbledore had placed into the brown, dirty-looking bag some very powerful magical objects, such as indestructible helmet made by goblins, a gold crown that made the one who wore it more wise, and so on. Those things were very precious and rare. She wouldn't have felt safe giving them to Hagrid, considering he's a bit absent minded, but he was the only hope the Order had.

She quickly arrived at Hogwarts, and was surprised by how little the old castle had changed since she was a student. The four high towers that surrounded it looked exactly the same as twenty years ago when she had arrived for the first year. In the distance, she could see the Quidditch field. She had never been good at Quidditch, but she enjoyed watching the matches of her house, Ravenclaw. She promised herself to go and take a look at the lake after speaking to Hagrid and Minerva. She stopped and tried to remember exactly where the lake was, but couldn't. _I'll ask someone_, she thought, and then, like a flash, came to her mind that Severus was there. Not that she had forgotten. Indeed, she had thought about him during the walk from Hogsmede. Although she would have never admitted it, she was glad to have been sent there. Severus had missed the last four meetings, and she had begun to miss his presence. The sight of the castle had stirred up her old memories and she had been absorbed in remembering her school years.

She didn't want to think about Severus though. Thinking of him reminded her of the dream she had had, and of Sirius' declaration the previous night. Anna felt still guilty. She knew she had done the right thing by not talking to him, but seeing him so sad and empty had made her wonder about her feelings. She didn't want to lose him as a friend. She recalled a memory from thirteen years earlier. She had lost a true driend because she was smitten with an older man whom was only taking advantage of her. She had been blind to it, and when the man left her heart broken, she never dared call upon her old friend again. Now she was 32, an adult, but she feared being wrong again.

When she met Sirius the first time, she had liked him. He was quite handsome, sincere and witty. They had become friends, but that was all. With Severus though, it was different. He wasn't as good-looking as Sirus, nor was he so witty, but he was especially sarcastic and quite cruel. Everyone had told her that he didn't have a heart, and that he was pure wickedness, but she had seen something in his eyes, in the way he behaved, that had made her believe that his soul was more complex that what he showed. Anna couldn't claim to know him well. Dumbledore had told her something about his doing spy work, but she didn't know anything about his private life. She was curious to see him teaching, since he came across as being impatient. _So what made me answer Sirius the way I did?_ Anna asked herself.

The answer hit her right in the face quite literally. As she was rounding a corner heading towards the staff room, she bumped into Severus who was running in the opposite direction. Regaining her balance, she turned to greet him, but he muttered a greeting and practically ran away without a look, leaving Anna quite stunned. They hadn't seen each other since the night of the meeting, but she had written to him frequently. Their correspondence had been mostly business, but his tone was certainly more friendly towards her. She hoped he considered her a friend, even if she knew that Severus was known to not have friends and to not want them. She was hurt that he had just run off, and that feeling mixed with the guilt she felt for mistreating Sirius suddenly made her unhappy to be at Hogwarts.

"Well, I don't mind. I don't even know him and he doesn't like me, so where's the problem? We're just colleagues. Even better, I'm his boss." She was resolved to not think about anything between herself and Severus again.

---

Severus was in foul mood. That wasn't a strange occurrence, considering he was always angry with something, and when there wasn't anything he was just angry with Potter and his friends. Today, however, was an entirely different story. He had done everything in his power to keep avoiding the Order meetings and Anna in particular, and there she was, at Hogwarts! "What is she doing here?" he muttered, angry with her and Dumbledore, who had surely sent her there.

They hadn't fought, but then again, they hadn't really spent time together since the night of that meeting. They had met sometimes at Grimmauld Place, when he had come to report his findings and they had chatted, spent a little time together. Anna was the only one who treated him like a friend, or at least not like an enemy. She liked reading very much, and was good at potions. Severus had lent her some of his most ancient and precious books, and she had tried to prepare the most difficult potions. Little by little they had become friendly. She had told him of when she went to school, of her friends, and of her family. She was a pureblood, and had a happy childhood.

He was still reserved and had only told a little bit about his family, but he never mentioned his time at Hogwarts. She had asked him about it, but he had answered vaguely. Anna had understood that he didn't want to talk about it, and had changed the subject tactfully.

That was only one of the reasons why he liked Anna. She wasn't meddler, and respected him for what he was. She had the knack of putting everyone at ease.

_Stop it_, Severus commanded himself as he slapped a hand on his forehead. He was thinking about her again!

After that fateful meeting, he had unwittingly begun to think more and more about Anna. At first he had thought it normal, because she was new and his boss, so he needed to figure out where to categorize her. As the weeks passed, Anna's face had taken Lily's place in his dreams. That revelation wasn't helpful considering he had a mission to attend to and he couldn't afford any distractions. He felt guilty thinking about Anna since he had sworn his love to Lily years ago. He had done a terrible thing to Lily and that made him a monster. He didn't deserve happiness, only death and sorrow. It was his punishment to look after her son, to suffer her loss and the memories he had of her. When he became aware that he simply couldn't stop thinking about Anna, he decided to avoid her.

It had been a difficult decision to stand by, but he rushed away after reporting to her and no longer had tea or chatted with her in the library. He knew he had been rude, but it was necessary.

Severus was walking along the corridor when he heard a scream coming from outside. It sounded like a woman, so he hurried to the nearest door and went towards the sound. There, in front of the big door that led the way to the gardens and the Forbidden Forest, stood Anna, her hands being held behind her back by two students of the Inquisitorial Squad. He recognized the two students as Pansy Parkinson and Gregory Goyle. In front of Anna, Dolores Umbridge was pointing her wand towards her, screaming, "Fight back, if you dare, you disgusting spy!"

"I am no spy! Let go of me at once!"

Many students had gathered around the courtyard. Severus stopped behind them. His hands were trembling in rage and he had a strong desire to kill Umbridge, but he needed to keep calm. Umbridge's voice had become lower, making it harder to hear as she lowered herself closer to Anna, so close that their noses almost touched.

"So you keep saying that you're not here to spy on me on Dumbledore's orders?"

"I'm not!" Anna was furious. Goyle had taken her wand, but she hadn't reacted. She didn't want to hurt a student. "I'm here to talk to my old friend Minerva. That isn't forbidden, is it?"

"This is you last chance, Miss Jopkins. Tell me exactly what Dumbledore asked you to do!"

""I'm here on my own account, you silly old hag!"

"Very well," Umbridge replied calmly. She took a few steps back and pointed her wand again at Anna. "If you don't want to cooperate, I'll give you a _boost_. Crucio!"

Anna waited for the pain to come, but it didn't. Instead, she heard a voice screaming "Protego!" and saw the curse rebound off a shield that had materialized in front of her. She looked passed the shield and saw Severus standing in front of her with his wand in the hand. Umbridge had been forced to go back by the strength of the protective charm, and levelled a puzzled look at Severus.

"You can't use the Cruciatus Curse inside the school, in front of hundreds of students, on an unarmed woman," Severus informed the Ministry toad smoothly.

"Snape! I'm the Headmistress now! I can do whatever I want, and no one can prevent me from it! Out of the way, she must confess!"

"Don't you dare, _Headmistress._" Severus's voice was filling with anger. Umbridge didn't care and went on. Anna didn't know how she could go along so carelessly. If Severus had been looking at her in a way like that, she would have run away immediately.

"Snape! You're still on trial, don't forget it!"

"I don't care. Let her go!"

"_Crucio_!"

"_Stupefy_!"

Snape's curse was so strong that Umbridge's wand flew into the air and fell to the floor, followed by its unconscious owner. He then took Anna's hand and led her to the dungeons, far away from the students that would no doubt recover from their shock in just a few minutes.


	8. Overhearing

**Chapter 8**

The air in the dungeons was incredibly cool compared to the heat outside the castle. The further she and Severus descended, the damper the stone steps got. Since Severus was jerking her down the steps quickly, she nearly fell many times. Silence filled the air for their journey, but as soon as he had slammed his door just, Anna began spewing curses at Umbridge. Then, as if she had run out of gas, she plopped onto the black leather sofa with a sigh, not looking at Severus who had been following her every move.

"Thank you," Anna said suddenly. "She took me by surprise. I-"

"What are you doing here at Hogwarts?" Severus demanded, cutting her off. "Don't you know that the whole school is under the Ministry's control?" His tone was harsh, as if he were talking to a particularly stupid student.

"I'm here on Dumbeldore's account, not my own. He told me to give Minerva and Hagrid a message, _in person_, since he couldn't come himself. Anyway, _had_ I known about how much the Ministry was interfering with Hogwarts, I wouldn't have come!" Her retort was angry and snappish. Severus had just insinuated that she wasn't able to do her work properly! "And furthermore, I am an Auror! I could have taken her had she not surprised me. I assure-"

Severus interrupted her again. "I'm not accusing you." He began to pace around the room, muttering to himself.

Anna was less than pleased with the situation, but she couldn't very well say anything since he had just saved her. Finally, he stopped pacing and walked over to a large wooden cabinet. Inside, there was a variety of colored potions and ingredient bowls. Severus ignored all of that and pulled out the little bag which, according to the inscription, was Floo Powder. Severus took a handful of and moved closer to the fireplace. He paused and cast his gaze over to Anna, seeing that she was observing his every move. He put the Floo Powder on a table next to the closet.

Before he could get started again, Anna asked, "What are you going to do? I mean, with Umbridge and all the rest? You can't actually go up there for dinner as if nothing has happened!"

Severus seemed to recognize the worry in her voice, for he offered her a little smile, bitter but without wickedness or resentment. There was another feeling in that smile that made her feel better, but Anna couldn't identify it.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. That toad needs me. I prepare all the Veritaseum she uses to interrogate the students. Please just listen to me. Now you know what's going on at Hogwarts. Do not come here again, even if Albus orders you to. Umbridge seemed to know you very well," he cautioned.

"Well, we have both worked at the Ministry, so she's probably seen me once or twice. I can't understand why she immediately stopped me though. It seemed like she knew exactly what I was there for. I mean, I could have been sent from the Ministry to have a look at things…" she trailed off, unsure.

"Umbridge is the Ministry," Severus replied. "She has full power and doesn't report to anyone. I thought you knew it, considering I've told you thousands of times, but perhaps you were too busy listening to Black's nonsense. Being the boss in office, you should know a bit more about things going on in these days"

"Look! I really am grateful that you saved me back there, but if you think I should kneel down at your feet and take every insult you throw at me silently, then you're wrong! And I'm no more the boss! Dumbledore has managed to held the situation by staying away. I said it at the last reunion, but perhaps you were too busy criticizing everything!" she shouted, angry with his continuous criticism. She had been imprudent, true, but that was it! Anna truly didn't understand why they always had to quarrel about something whenever they saw each other. She turned on her heel and walked towards the door. "Thank you, again, but from how on I'll manage by myself," she informed him angrily before slamming the door behind her.

Severus let her go, not bothering to try and stop her. It wasn't in his nature to run after girls and mollycoddle them. He felt a pain in his chest when he saw the door closing but did his best to ignore it. He didn't even know what he had said to make her so angry. He was only trying to protect her, not to hurt her. He hadn't felt comfortable defending her in front of the whole school and that certainly wasn't because of Umbridge! He had faced the Dark Lord! Nothing could be worse than that. He was simply ashamed of showing how much he cared for her, but that didn't stop him from rescuing her all the same. He didn't want to admit his own feelings. He acknowledged that it had been difficult to just be friends with her, when in his dream she was in love with him and he could return those feelings. Reality, as he already knew, was harsh. He didn't deserve real happiness; even his dreams were too much.

Anna reflected on her anger as she made her way out of the Dungeons. She would admit that she had no right to be so furious with Severus, considering he had just saved her, but he infuriated her so much! It was clear that the situation hadn't been her fault and yet, Severus ignored that and taken the whole issue as a means to jab at her capability of doing her work. At any moment, his attitudes would change drastically towards her! In one minute, he could be kind and gentle, but in the next he would treat her with the same sarcasm and harsh words that he offered all the other Order members. There wasn't ever a clear reason why either! At first, Anna had felt stupid for not having understood the problems Severus was having, but she had come to the conclusion that there wasn't anything to understand. Severus's moods were just that unpredictable, and she often forgot his fouler moods since they rarely saw each other. She hadn't thought too hard on it, of course, because she didn't want to go crazy trying to discover his secrets.

As deep in thought as she was, Anna paused on the staircase connecting the dungeons to the rest of the castle. She leaned against a wall, her breath creating little wisps of condensation from the cold air surrounding her. With a heavy sigh, Anna turned her back to the light at the top of the staircase and began her descent back to Severus's quarters to apologize. As soon as she reached his door, she stopped again. She could hear voices coming from the room; Severus's low and angry, while the other voice was crackling and unidentifiable, but definitely male.

"You couldn't care less about other people, could you? Oh, no, obviously not!" Severus's angry voice was saying. "In your opinion, everything is done for the Greater Good! What are we to you? Slaves? Nothing more than tools in your oh so skillful hands? Why should you care about the feelings, the lives that are at stake? Yes you know perfectly well what I'm talking about, but it isn't only that. What happened this afternoon only confirms what I've thought for a long time!"

The crackling voice cut him off them, so low and distorted that Anna couldn't hear what was being said. The tone was humble, as if the speaker were trying to justify himself, but suddenly the tone changed to a happier one – something akin to a laugh, and she understood. Whoever was talking with Severus was much more powerful than he, and hadn't taken Severus's accusations seriously. On the contrary, he had pretended to be sorry to show his superiority.

Severus answered in a tone so low that Anna had to lean herself against the door, her feet balanced on the step. "It's not funny. Yes, I'm indebted to you, but this is really too much. How long with I have to pay for my sins, to pay the forfeit for what you did to me? Aren't sixteen years enough? Listen to me; even if this entire plan could fail, I won't risk another time for that stupid-"

A loud crash echoed through the halls as Anna slipped off the step and fell down the stairs, landing in the classroom. She could no longer hear Severus's voice, only the rapid sound of footsteps that were approaching. Without thinking, Anna took her wand and cast a Disillusionment charm and a Muffliato on herself before running away, just as Severus opened the door to look around, suspicious of what had caused the noise.

In a few minutes, Anna was far from the dungeons, back in the Great Hall and left the castle via the main doors. She headed towards the forest, and stopped under a big crooked oak tree at the edge of the Forbidden Forrest. Hagrid's hut stood before her, black smoke coming out of the chimney. She slipped behind the big trunk, not wanting to be seen, before she crumpled to the ground from exhaustion. Tears filled her eyes as she considered Severus's words. Surly that 'stupid' he had been talking about was her, she thought as she massaged her painful ankle. She, who had put herself in countless dangerous situations, who had ruined a perfect plan, who had deceived herself into thinking she was Severus's friend; and now she saw that everything that was said about him was true. He was a greasy, black-hearted git that would never change. She mentally congratulated herself on being about to pull out her wand and cast before he had arrived. Anna knew that, had he discovered her, she would only have been able to burst into tears.

She stayed curled up on the ground for a while, thinking about nothing in particular. An hour passed until she heard the bell signaling it was time to switch classes. Before the students could descend on her for their Care of Magical Creatures class, she slipped away through the path to Hogsmeade and went home.


End file.
